I recently attended a film screening of the documentary Project Happiness. It was a showing at the community college I attended a few years ago and I went with two of my closest friends these days- Alex who is in her 20's and Penny who is no longer in her 20's. The movie was fun and inspiring. I laughed, I cried, I left there with a new sense of what my personal relationship with what happiness can be. The movie didn't present foreign concepts on how to achieve happiness. The beauty of the message lies in its simplicity and familiarity. Sometimes what you know and what you "knoooow" are not the same. I know what happiness is as a concept. I do not always know what happiness is as a practice. I really recommend watching this documentary- the word gospel literally translates to "good news"- I am sharing the gospel of Project Happiness. Like any good news and truths worth sharing I am proselytizing this movie- watch it, love it, share it, and then watch it again. Amen.
I also recently had the chance to attend this cool workshop- a theater workshop for immigrant activists. I went into it thinking we were going to create a skit about farmers having a hard day on the field. I should really stop going into things thinking. We spent 10 hours moving our bodies, exploring with messages, doing trust exercises and practicing concentration and being present. It was a wonderful experience. The workshop was facilitated by Roberto- an Argentinian man currently living in San Francisco where he runs community theater groups. I walked out of that workshop appreciating the process. It was all so parallel to my feelings on grief- truly learning to honor the process before trying to do anything, create anything, be anything more than present with just that- the process. At one point Roberto pointed out that "A process is like a pilgrimage" the goal isn't the end result- to produce something to share but rather producing something to be. This was just as true with the process at this theater workshop as it is with my process in grieving Mateo. Towards the end of the workshop this young boy raised his hand and commented " Now I am ready to write that skit!" He was obviously bursting with creative energy after having spent the day tapping into it. Roberto, who was also obviously bursting with creative energy looked at him and exclaimed " That's the beauty of finishing something- that's when we get started! " I look forward to coming through this and out of this and being someone obviously bursting with energy ready to get started.
I have been tapping into different resources for advice and support and one of them is this Podcast series by Reverend Kusala. I do not practice Buddhism but there are truths to the Buddhist way of life that I admire and aim to adapt in my life. Today I listened to this talk on Life and Death- it was really great and so I posted the link below in case you get a chance to check it out. He points to a handful of things that really stuck out to me, I was listening to it and kept reaching for my notepad to take notes and write down ideas, but his commentary on reincarnation struck me the most. He shared his thoughts on reincarnation not as being reborn from this physical life into another one. It wasn't about dying and coming back as a butterfly- but rather the idea that we are reborn all of the time- now- in this life. His mother recently passed away and he was looking through her pictures. He was looking of a timeline of her life through pictures- from her baby pictures to her pictures right before dying- and he found himself in disbelief that anyone would not believe in reincarnation. The person you were at 8 years old is not the person you are 16, or at 35 or 58 or at 82. Those are all different people in their own right. I appreciated the message of rebirth as an experience throughout this life and not something post this life. I really recommend checking out the whole podcast and if you do feel free to let me know what parts of it, if any might have jumped out at you.
http://www.urbandharma.org/ATS/LifeDeath.mp3
Lastly I wanted to say thank you to the people in the support group meeting I attended today. It was a relaxed event where I got to share my experience and help affirm others in their grief. One of the greatest things I have found people can give me is a space to share, an avenue for sharing my feelings and the opportunity to be heard. I absolutely had that today- and in turn I made a conscious effort to listen to others and honor their need for that space. My therapist once shared this scripture with me from the Bible that pretty much states- how you are in comforted, that is how you will comfort others. I kept that in mind today and thought of all the kind ways I have been comforted these last couple of months, the things that people said that actually helped and better yet the things that people did that actually brought comfort. For me that has been being listened to, finding my voice through grief and being heard has been a real sign of love towards me and so I made it a point to try and comfort in that way- I made it a point to listen. Thank you to those who listened to me today.
I will be in Washington D.C. for the next couple of days for a work conference and will get to see a fellow Peace Corps volunteer. She was absolutely wonderful to me throughout my first trimester in Peru and has been a good friend through this despite our distance. I am so excited to get to see her and catch up. I am so grateful for good friends in this life.
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