Pregnant Women and Shitty Parents Listen Up

Ask any woman who has lost a baby, either to miscarriage or infant death how they feel about pregnant women and they will probably tell you the same thing I am just about to say- they are EVERYWHERE. The whole world is filled with pregnant women and babies. I can't go out in public, I can't turn on the t.v., I can't do much more than leave my room if I do not want to encounter a pregnant woman and or newborns. My cousin recently told me she is pregnant. I am happy for her. I am however still sad for me. The world seems to be made up of two kinds of people, people with children and me.

This week however has had another interesting running theme post baby loss- it seems shitty parents are everywhere also. The other day at Target, my friend and I witnessed this mother taunting her child, yelling at her child and just being god awful to her little son. I was so uncomfortable and upset at this woman. She pushed her child through the store being a shitty parent loud enough for anyone three isles in either direction to hear her.

Today while watering my tomatoes the neighbor's door flies open and I can hear a man yelling and children crying. The man gets very angry at a boy that seems to be about 6 years old and starts to spank him while yelling at him to go to his room. I do not agree with taunting or hitting children. As this man stormed out of the house after beating his little boy I continued to water my plant and started crying. What a shitty parent. Now to be fair my witnessing these shitty moments doesn't define the whole sum of their parenting. I cannot speak to what they sacrifice, the tears they shed or the love they give. What I did see however doesn't inspire much faith in their ability to raise their children in a mature, healthy and nurturing way. And to my critics who might say- what do you know? You've never raised a child- I say exactly- that's why you suck. I didn't get to raise my child. I don't get to be a good parent to him or a shitty one. I don't get to wipe noses or give kisses or watch my son achieve great things in life. There is nothing that says that someone would not have witnessed my very own shitty parent moment one day- but we will never know now, will we? I don't get to raise my child but it seems like everyone else in the world- good at it or not- gets to raise theirs. Now I am sure there are also good parents having wonderful parent moments all around me and I just don't notice them as much. That is because I try to block them out. They seem to have appeased some divine being that I have only managed to inspire to bring me heartbreak. I do not understand why you get to hold your child and I do not. The world is better for you having done that- you wonderful parent- and so I am grateful for it. I want to have had the chance to contribute to humanity in that way also.

To all the pregnant women out there- enjoy your moment. To all the parents out there- be good to your children. You get to have these moments I would give anything to have with Mateo for.