Resolutions

When I left for Peace Corps I was about 55lbs overweight. Thanks to dysentery, lack of junk food, and time to exercise I lost about 35lbs and got in the best shape I can remember being in. I felt great and was on my way. Then I got pregnant. So in one year I lost 25lbs and then proceeded to gain 25lbs in the 5 1/2 months I was pregnant. While I was pregnant and was gaining weight I would become upset at the weight gain since I had just lost it, but would comfort myself with " Don't worry, you'll lose it after you have the baby". Well now is after baby. Even if I am not ready for it to be. I have the body of someone who just had a baby with no baby to show for it. Since it has been just a little over a month since I gave birth I am conscious of slowing back into exercise. I have moments where I get so upset, it would be ok to be this fat if I had my sweet baby boy to show for it. But I don't. And I am overweight. And I have to do something about it even if it unfair and heartbreaking. So I started doing the couch to 5k program with one of the besties. I put on my running shoes and I turn up the music and I run. Not very fast and not very far yet. But I run. I miss my baby boy with every step but he is not here, and I am, and so I run.