Coincidences Within Reach and the Other Shit That Just Happens

I am not always sure if I believe in coincidences. Most things feel intertwined, it feels as though events are interconnected and fueled through Karmic energy. And sometimes shit just happens. I have been having a very hard time managing my grief this last week or so. Usually that makes me more of a shut in than usual but tonight I decided to go with a friend to a showing of the movie Within Reach. The movie is about a couple that sells everything in order to ride their bikes around the U.S. in the search for a new home in an eco-community in order to pursue a sustainable lifestyle. Is it a coincidence that it touched on so many of the things I needed to hear? Maybe. What I do know is that I walked away with a renewed sense of purpose.

Because my coming home from the Peace Corps went hand in had with my losing Mateo, I have not really had the chance to process that experience or my transition back into the U.S. I really struggle with feeling sucked back into the American way of life and feeling I am betraying the valuable things I learned. For 2 years I went with so little and so I struggle with being here and seeing Americans have so much. I struggle with being one of those Americans. So what do I do? Sell everything I own and bike around the U.S. in hopes of finding something that meets my needs of Peace Corps sacrifice and living? I probably won't do that. What I will do is dedicate year 29 of my life to Sustainable Living and Consciousness.

I have been battling with the idea of my future. What does my life means now post child loss? I get overwhelmed at a lifetime of heartbreak. I have not been looking forward to my 29th birthday. Well it is all still overwhelming and heartbreaking and 29 will be blanketed with grief- but I can also set an intention for this year that is unrelated to my grief. I can create space in my life for fulfilling that desire to become a person of conscious in the way that I consume.

Therefore I declare year 29 The Year of Sustainability and Social Consciousness! What does that mean?
For one whole year, 365 days, 12 months I will make conscious decisions about where I spend my money and what I put in my body. I have created some guidelines to help me come to this place...

* I will not buy anything new- at all-ever

* I will not buy anything I do not need

* The $10.00 Spending Rule

* I will shop local and organic

* I will be kind to myself and to my body

* I will be creative this year- trade, bargain, beg, and wish my way through situations

Of course there will be things I will have to spend money on like Utilities, Gas, and toilet paper and charities. I have made a list of the necessities. The only exception to the rule is my vacation at the end of the year- which I have been planning for and is part of another goal and promise to a friend. We will see all 7 Wonders of the World in 7 years. So beside the week I will spend in Italy later this year I will go back to my Peace Corps roots. Can I do this? Can I really pass up the Victoria Secret semi annual sale? Will I have to deactivate my Amazon account? How the hell am I going to do Christmas? It is going to be a real test of my willingness to recreate my life in a way that turns its back on the excesses of consumerism and embraces sustainability and creativity. I know the kind of person I want to be and the kind of life I want to have. The time is now.